good things, repairing and giving blood
I fixed the brake pads on my bike myself the other day, and also managed to repair my favourite hair clip (by taking the spring out of a cat hair clip I'd been given for Christmas, sorry to that cat). It feels good to repair things - I've been feeling so ineffectual at my job it's good to actually do something.
Here's my ugly bike - I'm trying to get better at maintenance, honest
Sorry again to the cat clip
I hosted a craft night for some friends too, where I made a card for my mum and did a sketch of a friend - it was a really fun evening, I was left feeling grateful I have friends who will do these things with me. It felt good to create, but also that I could provide this space for others to create and have them appreciate it.
The portrait of my friend - the eyes are wonky, but it's not a bad likeness
The card, using jasmine flowers I pressed last year
I'm not great at girl or relationship talk though - so it also made me reflect on how repressed I am. The other girls had far less trouble speaking honestly about their relationships and sex lives, which seems healthier than how I feel about it. I think it's because my communication with my partner isn't very good, so it feels disloyal to talk about these things apart from him in a way it wouldn't if we addressed them together. It doesn't feel great to admit that 😕
I also gave blood for the second time last week. It honestly feels like such a relief to do something unambiguously good and helpful I feel grateful to them for letting me do it. This is not to blow my own horn - I'm pretty sure it's well recorded that being altruistic makes you feel good. I also hate my job so much at the moment that leaving to go be stuck with a needle is a relief 🙃
I guess the theme is trying to cultivate a life where you can provide for others. Remembering to be grateful that you can do these things - I think it's nicely circular that by doing for others you enrich yourself. And don't forget that by accepting from others, and asking for help, often you're doing this for them too - most people like to help and feel good about themselves.