🏖️ Holidays are stressful
Enjoy this cute photo of a lizard that joined us for dinner 🦎
If I'm honest, I've really been struggling on this holiday so far. I'm not sure when I got so bad at being outside my comfort zone, but thinking back to other recent holidays I've felt the same - counting down the days until I can get back to the safety of home.
This is really hard to admit about something I've paid a lot of money for, am supposed to be enjoying, and feel like I'm letting other people down by not enjoying.
I'm worried about the drive we have to do up to the mountains to hike, I'm worried about the heat, I was even worried about doing the Funchal tobbogan ride - this is an activity you can do where you're pushed down a steep hill in a wicker cart.
I said holidays with my brother were fun, and that's true, but this has also reminded me of all the things that annoy me about him - his stubbornness, his worrying. I worry too much too - are people annoyed by me?
There have been good parts of today - we went around the botanical gardens which were very pretty, but I spent a lot of it worrying if my brother was enjoying it and snapping at him a bit. We also explored the Palace gardens in Monte which are he most beautiful I've ever seen, and overall I think I'm glad we're here.
I wrote at the start of this holiday in my journal "I want to be resilient" - able to handle this uncertainty and fear. But I haven't quite got there yet.
I'll leave you with a photo of the gardens.
