Bluebottle's blog

14/03/2025

I did the "Calm your busy mind" guided meditation again. Useful, I think. I've been stressed about work lately, and trying to buy a house.

The vivid dreams have returned - I'm not sure if it's the sertraline, or the meditation.

13/03/2025

Ten minutes in the morning. Can't really remember how this went.

12/03/2025

Hungover in the morning so I mediated later in the day 😓

I did a guided meditation called "Calm your busy mind" as i'd been having so much trouble getting distracted - I actually wore liked this one.

Tip: label thoughts as they come up, to make them less strong

11/03/2025

Got up earlier, ten minutes in the morning.

10/03/2025

Got up late and was so tired in the evening - 5 mins before bed.

09/03/2025

I can't remember, but insight timer shows I did.

08/03/2025

I didn't have time all day and then did a 13 minutes self esteem affirmation meditation before bed. It reminded me why I stopped doing guided meditations - the narrator did not give enough time to repeat them, and kept pausing like she'd finished before adding another bit on 😅 I smiled through it though and slept ok.

04/03/2025 - 07/03/2025

I kept it up this week but didn't get around to writing - I've been consistently doing 10 mins in the morning but in a very distracted way, so frustratingly it doesn't feel like I'm getting much out of it.

03/03/2025

10 minutes sitting up in bed in the morning. Very distracted by work stuff this morning.

02/03/2025

Ten minutes in the morning, in bed. Looked up meditation techniques and found this calm article - mindfulness is the one I want to focus on.

01/03/2025

Didn't have time in the morning, 10 minutes lying on my bed after a shower in the afternoon. Not very successful, having trouble quieting my thoughts.

28/02/2025

Felt hungover, got up with my alarm, did ten minutes meditating on the sofa. It was sunny, I felt better. I'm pretty consistently just using the timer now, with no ambient noise. I like to crack the window so I can listen to the sounds outside.

I'd like to consistently get to 10 minutes for at least 5 days, then increase to fifteen.

I also need to be more mindful of my thoughts, as occasionally I just start daydreaming or mentally making plans for for the day.

I've become interested in the idea of morning pages - the thing I can't get over thought is it seems like a waste of paper? Unless I'm misunderstanding it it's like three A4 pages of stream of consciousness. Hm.

27/02/2025

I woke up late and did five minutes sitting up in bed.

26/02/2025

Ten minutes this morning, in the living room, window open to listen to the birds. Horrible grey day.

Not sure if it's related, but I've consistently been having really intense dreams over the last week.

25/02/2025

Similar to yesterday but did a five minute timer and was still late. Good things: again, listened to the birds, nice to pay attention to my body and what I'm thinking about. Bad things: temptation to roll over and go back to bed or immediately browse on my phone in bed.

Would be good if I could finish meditating and immediately get up, instead.

24/02/2025

Ten minute timer in the morning. I'm not very good at doing stuff in the morning before work, so I did this sat up cross legged in bed before I properly got up. Good things: listening to the birds, preparing for the day. Bad things: I was late for work, my alarm went off halfway through the meditation (don't snooze!)

23/02/2025

Five minute timer in the afternoon, listening to the rain outside.

22/02/2025

Five minute timer in the afternoon, in the sun. I felt good.

21/02/2025

Five minute timer today in the morning. I think it worked well. I didn't keep my mind empty, but the thoughts passed and none particularly troubled me. I had time to think about how my body was feeling and the quality of light in the room (not grey, but not bright either, and cold and blue today).

20/02/2025

Did actually meditate in the morning today! (however, the problem is my mind can't let go of thinking how much time I'm wasting before I have to get to work, but maybe this is good practice). I tried a 6 minute positive affirmations meditation, but ultimately it made me uncomfortable (I love the way you make me smile... from a stranger?? no thanks.) Do need to resolve to try just using the timer tomorrow.

19/02/2025

Forgot to do this until just before I went to bed, when I listened to an "Evening reflection and cleanse" 6 minute meditation. I still feel too antsy for non-guided meditation, but too cynical for the guided ones... The focus on lets go of negative feelings from the day was what I needed, but I couldn't really focus. Ultimately I slept ok though.

18/02/2025

Did a 7 minute "I am Worthy" guided meditation. My nose was blocked and various other physical things bothered me the whole time, not totally successful.

17/02/2025

Forgot in the morning again. Got home from work and felt really restless and at a loose end, then remembered I wanted to complete a meditation session. Did "Self compassion break" which was 6 minutes long - I decided on a guided one because I felt so antsy. This meant my thoughts were all over the place during the meditation, but afterwards I did feel more settled.

16/02/2025

After yesterday's meditation, I remembered some affirmations my therapist gave me last year, and tried to find a guided meditation that might focus more on what I personally want to focus on. I tried "Morning affirmations for leaning into gratitude" which was 10 mins long. This was fine, but didn't super work for me as little focus on breath and posture (it even encouraged you to have it on while doing other things, which isn't really meditation to me, and the description of her morning routine felt a bit pretentious. Do I just find Americans too sincere?)

Realised after doing this Insight Timer has a mode which is just a meditation timer (duh). So I will do this tomorrow is I can't find a guided one I feel suits me.

15/02/2025

The weekend - my boyfriend stayed over and we got up late, so I meditated in the afternoon. I did "Recentering in times of uncertainty" which was 9 minutes long. This felt appropriate: "we cannot always control what is going on outside us, but we can control our breath".

14/02/2025

I did the same meditation track as Day 1 in the morning. I felt a bit stressed about it because I was running late.

13/02/2025

I forgot to do the practice in the morning, as I intended, so I ended up doing it in a café after work while waiting to go for a film.
(I reflected a bit on how I didn't mind doing this in front of strangers with my earbuds in, but I have quite bad self-esteem issues over what people I know think about me)
I completed "Five minute morning practice on gratitude", although it was actually the evening. I liked that the guided meditation instructed on the posture and breathing. I didn't get as much out of the gratitude visualisation.