new year, 2025 reflection
I've been trying to get outside a lot while I'm still off work for the holidays. It's been cold here (-3 to 1 degree C) but bright and sunny which has been really lovely. I got so sick of rain during November and early December! Some parts of the country have had snow, but here there's only been early morning frost. I can't overstate how happy I am it's not raining at the moment.
Edit: since starting this post, I've developed a cold :( and have gone back to work :( but at least it is still dry outside.
I've seen so many magpies around this year - there's 7 here, the most I've counted!
Honestly, 2025 has been really hard for me. I feel stuck. Upheaval at work has made me feel really insecure in my life, my income and my home. I've gradually started seeing this anxiety as another symptom of depression, one I've not identified before. I'm scared. I can't see or imagine anything good happening in the future and this feeling is paralyzing me, preventing me making any decisions while all the people around me move on with their lives.
My grandmother died this year and my parents are getting older. I've been thinking about death a lot. I feel like I've been seeing more things to do with death and mortality because of this. A user on r/poetry has been posting a lot of Japanese death poems, including this one:
I'm going to end this post with a list of favourite things from last year, copied from Frances - it's a lovely idea.
Favourite things from 2025
- I continued to watch a lot of films (283 to be exact). I still love the cinema. I've also started collecting DVDs and rewatching old favourites including Rohmer and KaurismΓ€ki, which gives me comfort.
- Wuthering Heights book club with the girlies π
- Reading Jane Eyre for the first time
- Continuing the Berlin Beer and Book Club with my two friends, and having great book chat.
- Rewatching all of Twin Peaks and appreciating The Return much more the second time around, revisiting theories and drawing meaning from it.
- Reading more poetry.
- Attending two midnight movie screenings - Eraserhead and Tetsuo the Iron Man, and having a blast.
- Copenhagen and every other time I swam in the sea this year.
- Attending Jenny's wedding, crying at the speech, seeing how happy they were.
- Craft nights with the other girlies π
- Visiting Oxford for the first time
- Visiting Inverness and taking the Caledonian sleeper to Scotland.
I'd like to do a more in depth review of my hobbies and how different areas of my life are - I'll see when I get round to it. I apologise for how maudlin the rest of this post is. It is what is I'm afraid.