poetry and posting
I've been reading a book called Poem for the day (one) compiled by Nicholas Albery I think I found on someone's front garden wall last year. It's been a nice morning routine to read the day's poem - it's accompanied by a footnote about the poet or the writing of the poem, and some notable events that happened on this day. For example:
Poet and writer Aphra Behn, bought up in Surinam, a spy for Charles II, a wit at court, imprisoned for debt, and Britain's first professional female author. She died April 16th 1689.
Today's poem is Wordsworth. You probably all know the first line, but the last verse stuck with me
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills
And dances with the daffodils
Cymru am byth etc
I've got out of the routine of posting weeknotes so I've been posting less. I'm not going lie, it's partly because I didn't know who I was posting them for - it felt performative and also no one was reading. I'm simultaneously jealous of the engagement others get on this site and aware that that's a ridiculous feeling because I simply don't have the time or inclination to write online. I struggle to keep up with and message friends I already have - I'm notoriously bad at it. It makes me feel a little guilty because so much of what people here value about the indie web is the friends they've made and I'm not cut out for that I fear (but what am I here for?)
Often when I meditate I end up drafting blog posts in my head when my mind wanders. It gives me that itchy feeling of urgency that I need to get it over with as soon as possible so I can hold the thought in my head and write it down (why do my thoughts feel so important? why does everything feel like it has to be done now?). Another thought that often crops up during meditating are lyrics from a Marina song, Ancient dreams in a Modern Land. I usually can't remember the full lyrics, so today after I was done I looked them up:
I am not my body, not my mind or my brain
Not my thoughts or feelings, I am not my DNA
I am the observer, I'm the witness of life
I live in the space between the stars and the sky
Probably my favourite lines from her, and I love the way she sings it. She'll always have a place in my heart.