Sick day ramblings
I'm off sick today with a sore throat and I'm determined to post something to get some thoughts out.
I've been working on a cinema page for my personal site - I want to write about why I like cinema cinema there and include write ups for cinemas I visit that aren't my usual. I've had writer's block lately - I'm also not totally happy with the design of it.
This is what I have so far - I like the layout, but struggling to find a font/text style I like for the main content
Writer's block maybe isn't the right word - I find it easy to write when I sit down and do it, but impossible to capture all of my thoughts. Especially when I've been consuming a lot of interesting stuff I really like (often) I have this desire to make something of it, to create - but I don't know how so I can't start. I know the solution to this is practice, and also a degree of accepting what you produce will never live up to the picture of it in your head (and that's part of it). But it doesn't make it any easier.
I'm definitely the sort of person who needs some time to get used to stuff. But I've also noticed how much easier things are when you do them all the time. When I started using my bike for commuting it was really stressful, getting the bike out was awkward and I frequently made mistakes on the bike that were a little bit scary. Now, it seems more of a hassle not to take the bike - because it's my routine.
For ages, I didn't like riding the bike down the slight slope out of my driveway and turning on to the road - I used to walk my bike down, reposition on the road and then pull out. It felt stupid. But eventually, I got more comfortable on the bike and now I don't think twice about it.
I often feel annoyed and frustrated with myself that these things take me longer to get used to, or things that are easy for other people are hard for me. But I think you have to accept your own limits. And celebrate them if you can! Even if it feels silly. Instead of putting yourself down to be funny, hype yourself up to be funny instead, event for the little things.
While sitting on the sofa, ill, I've ended up watching this youtube video - The answer isn't a hut in the woods. It's a good story and I think he gleans a lot of insights from mining his experiences. He discusses how what people like maybe isn't getting the thing they desire, but the desiring itself, and how manufacturing deprivation or simplifying your life is a way of producing that feeling.