trying to write
I wrote a whole post about my morning routine yesterday and didn't publish it because I was boring myself.
Today I'm off work and wondering what I'm doing with my life - feeling extremely dissatisfied and uneasy.
I went out shopping. Someone had smashed a bottle of wine in the supermarket. I could smell it as I scanned at the self checkout. I was buying food for a craft night I was hosting for friends. Trying to pick nice things they'd like so they'd like me.
I saw a massive dragonfly on the way home, crossing the road - it made me jump.
I should leave to meet a friend at the climbing gym in a couple of minutes. I'm lying in bed staring out the window thinking nothing. I will leave, I'll make myself, but I wonder what would happen if one day I just didn't do anything.
There's good things I could write about - an area of the shopping street near me has been pedestrianised, I got a photograph of it. We had a leaflet put through our door complaining this had used "£50,000 of your tax money" and it would prevent emergency services and cars getting to places, but I put that in the bin. I can watch my neighbours cat sneak into the allotments through a hole in the fence from my bedroom window. I found out Bristol council lets you sponsor a tree planting on their website.
Writing down things that make you happy is meant to be one of the most effective ways to cultivate happiness.